And So It Begins...

As some of you may know, I've actually blogged before.  My first blog was about my adventures in losing weight.  It started over a year ago, and though I've lost quite a bit of weight since then (and am still trying to before my wedding in October), it became a burden and so I stopped.

So why am I trying again??  GREAT question.  I've recently had some really fun stories pop into my head and I want to try to actually write some books.  After meeting with a budding writer like myself (though 3 years ahead of the game from me and with a book already self-published), she suggested blogging as a way to get the creative juices going.  I can see how this would work considering every time I've actually built up the courage to pull up a blank Word document and start on my book, I've gone completely blank or talked myself out of just about every sentence that popped up from the keyboard with questions like "is that really going to be the first sentence of your book?" and "wait...would that be historically true?".  This way, I can just write, whether I'm talking about myself, progress with the book, or whatever is on my mind.  I think it will be a good creative exercise.

So I'm going to take the opportunity to air out my anxieties in this first blog post and maybe that will help me get over them.  Here are the thoughts currently going on in my head:

#1.  I don't know what the hell I'm doing.  Seriously, I know I've BS'ed some essays in the past and that my thesis committee may have perceived my paper on women's bathing suits as fiction, but this will be the longest thing I've written that comes completely from my imagination.  What you have to understand is that after almost 4 years of graduate school, my imagination is in bad shape.  If my imagination were a human, it would be a 300 lb nightmare with curlers in a mumu in the Doritos aisle at Walmart.  It just needs to be reminded of its potential and importance.  I think this blog should help with my imagination's healthy exercise regimen.

#2.  My ideas for books are crap and no one cares.  Just because these sound like stories I want to read, it may not be something anyone else would enjoy.  I may have this story that I'm dying to get out of me, but it will suffer ridicule and mockery (probably more from me than anyone--I seriously am my own worst critic).

#3.  It's not as adult as I think.  I'll write it thinking I'm writing at an adult reading level, but it will actually be at the 12 year-old reading level.  Maybe I'm taking myself way to serious.  I mean, I'll be happy ANYONE would want to read it and find it enjoyable, right?

#4.  People will recognize themselves.  I can't help but develop a lot of these characters from experiences I have with people I know, and though I may change the names, someone could recognize themselves and become offended, no matter how many times I deny it.  On the other hand, considering at least half of the story I currently have in mind is based on history, I might not have a whole lot of trouble with that.

#5.  I hope I never hit it big because I don't want people telling embarrassing stories about me from childhood.  Vain?  YES.  But you have to understand, having been a nerd and at times a weirdo, I have a LOT of embarrassing stories!  It's really not a good excuse to NOT do something, though.  Hiding from that crap would keep me in a box forever, and no one can live like that.

So there it all is hashed out for you.  I'm not going to commit to daily/weekly/monthly postings, though it would be nice.  I learned from that the last time I blogged.  Instead I will blog as much and as often as I can to stay in practice and to get this project rolling.  Next post I will try and tell everyone a little more about what I want to accomplish.

I hope you enjoy the blog and that it is helpful, encouraging and/or uplifting to someone out there that is in the same boat as me (and good luck to you if you are!).  I'm already feeling better and more confident about getting started!